a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
