I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
