yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Found your dick twin last night
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
