Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
