You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
