I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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