I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
