White coat. Heels.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
