He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
