So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
