I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My dick has a subreddit
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
