Apparently you make a good broom.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
