bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
