fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
