We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
