Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
