and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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