I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
