I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
