Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
