i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
