On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
