you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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