Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
