just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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