God, you're like boner-b-gone
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
