I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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