sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
