You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
