I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
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