I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
