i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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