I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
