Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
