...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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