3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
