Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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