Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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