its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
