Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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