before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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