Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I wish I only lived at night.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
