You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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