I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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