I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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