i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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