Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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