well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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