in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
