I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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